If ever you feel like you need some support in navigating through SHIT, tune in. Maybe you find a tiny bit of help in there. Maybe not. Maybe it’s just helpful to know that even though you feel alone in it – you aren’t.
Our team begins by discussing their own experiences, unveiling the traumas that arose personally and explains why we feel entitled to speak about it. Or simply: Where are we currently with our trauma? And where does it continue to lead us?
We endeavour to create a forum that provides a better understanding of grief and trauma. Creating room for discussion that is not dictated by rules or “correct ways” to process information, but recognising that there are many paths to travel on our journey of grief and loss. Each individual will find their own, we try to create space for that. Both for ourselves and for each other. Our intention is to expand our common knowledge and gain wisdom through the act of sharing.
Episode 1 Deborah’s SHIT:
In this very first episode my friend and yoga teacher Julie Martin interviews me about my share of crap:
Episode 2 Patrick’s SHIT:
Today I talk to my friend and former fellow student, Patrick Schwarzenbach. His path led him to become a Pastor, he speaks about his own experience with SHIT:
Episode 3 Julie’s SHIT:
It’s Julie and me again! In this episode she shares her story, and how her SHIT inspires her to do the work she loves:
Episode 4 Ursina’s SHIT:
We have always dreamt of creating something together. Maybe this is a start? I talk with my bestest and dearest friend Ursina Vetsch about our darkest times. And how we are in this together:
Episode 5 Suicide and Easter:
Today I am riding solo – my pastorfriend Patrick is busy with easter stuff in his church of course. But I felt an urge to talk about suicide and easter. Strange combination you think? Yeah, maybe. But this episode is all about how death isn’t as final, as we tend to think. Disclaimer: I might be a christian protestant theologian, but not a Christian. So I may have an interpretation of easter you won’t find in “normal church” books.
Episode 6 Karma and Original Sin – WTF?!:
Ram Dass posted a quote on Instagram recently, going as follows: “Suffering is part of our training program for becoming wise.” Hold on – so suffering is necessary? Why? And how does it get “distributed”? Why do some suffer more than others? In this episode, Patrick and I explore both the concept of Karma and Original Sin. Heavy topics, but as usual presented in a playful and light way. Without loosing ground or depth.
Episode 7 Trauma and the Body:
No matter in which form someone experiences trauma, it always has a physical reaction to it as well as an emotional or mental. Our bodies take that trauma in, we are affected by it on a cellular level. Often, we don’t realise that, as it happens. Mostly, we don’t. So there are lumps and heaps of trauma in our bodies, unseen, unheard and unhealed. I tend to think of those heaps as an entity who has it’s own life and starts to navigate our lifes through repeated patterns of behaviour. Unless we dig in there and expose them to light. Not pleasant to reach deep down and get them out, but the only way to heal. As far as my humble experience goes.
It’s Julie Martin and myself conversing about this topic.
(The mentioned interview with Bessel van der Kolk is to be found on our “Daily Inspiration” page.)
Episode 8 How does Shock feel?
We thought, it might be useful to go deeper into the topic of shock. How it actually feels and why “normal” behaviour doesn’t apply. It is something so far out of the every day life experience, it’s hard to understand for those around. Understanding how it feels, might create more understanding for those, who are in shock, or who are traumatised. Why they act all weird and never say thank you or something like that. But know: Everyone is different, so everyone experiences shock, trauma, crisis differently. There is no prescription that would fit all. Nope. We all have to figure it ourselves, what our very unique treatement will be.
Episode 9 The Healing Power of Gardening – a Gardening Special
You think the titel is a bit much? Maybe you’re right. But wait until you’ve listened to this conversation and reconsider you’re judgement. Ursina and I came to our allotment “like the virgin to a child” as the saying goes in German: the garden happened without our “doing”, it simply showed up. Effortlessly. We find so many analogies between the garden, gardening and life – take weeding for example: backbreaking work, hours of picking the tiniest roots, but if you don’t do it thoroughly, it’s useless. Ain’t it the same with our painbodies? Our conditioning? You need to look at their roots and get them out, log in many hours and try not to get obsessed, otherwise you end up following the ohsoconvincing stories of fear aka painbody aka BULLSHIT.
Episode 10 We have to surrender anyway, right?
The above statement is a direct quote by Julie, from a random Fridaynight-phonecall. So we dive into the whole realm of surrender, dedication and discipline. We stroll along the topics of “there is no control”, explore a bit of “how to deal with the world” and snack on the berries of “how do choice and no-controll live together?”. Lighthearted, as usual. But actually, it is uplifting – because it is deeply liberating and freeing. From those false beliefsystems we got implanted by… epigenetics, parenting, conditioning, society, teachers, fear. Just to name but a few. This episode will be followed by a part 2, which will be called something like “Crap, we can’t throw Discipline completely out the window”. Or similar.
Here are the promised links to people and books, we mentioned:
• Osho, a well known Guru from the 60‘s and 70‘s, who at first shared quite some wise and interesting insights but then tipped because of money and fame (at least, that’s my take on the controversy). The community he founded is still active, for further information, visit www.osho.com.
• Dolano, a not so well known spiritual teacher and Zen master, is actually a student of Osho. Originally from Germany, she lives India for almost 40 years now. Dolano is based in Pune, India, and holds so called Intensive Satsangs a couple of times a year. Julie worked with her and knows more about her work and approach; check out her page www.dolano.com.
• “The great work of your life” by Stephen Cope; an excerpt from the description goes as follows “In The Great Work of Your Life, Cope describes the process of unlocking the unique possibility harbored within every human soul. The secret, he asserts, can be found in the pages of a two-thousand-year-old spiritual classic called the Bhagavad Gita—an ancient allegory about the path to dharma, told through a timeless dialogue between the fabled archer, Arjuna, and his divine mentor, Krishna.”
Episode 11 Not all Discipline is Crap
As promised, here is part 2 of “We have to surrender anyway, right?”. As I realised for myself: You can’t do the practice without some sort of discipline. But – spoiler – it’s not the kind of discipline we all know so well. The drillsergeant kind. As you listen along, you can witness me loosing it. Which is kind of funny. I giggle with myself quite a lot. Even though I am having quite some rough times recently. With what people would call “the anniversary” (but I changed the channel for that day) and then my little tiny kitty died. But hey, it wasn’t an easy ride til here… so bring it on:
Episode 12 Prayer – an unexpected approach
When SHIT did hit the fan for me, I found and find myself often on my knees, begging and praying for the situation to change. Trying to make deals with God, “if I give you my arms, will you send Christopher back?”. Childish, maybe. But really, it is desperation speaking out of what I just described. It made me think about prayer and praying. We do not often talk about it, as it is rather embarrassing to out yourself as a praying human. At least in a secular context, where all of what we do here takes place. Patrick and myself explore different ways of prayer and discover an unexpected approach to this very intimate topic.
• I only read a couple of paragraphs from the poem “This is Why I Pray” Click for the full version!
• Søren Kierkegaard, a philosopher and theologian, writes about praying being the art of listening to God’s voice in his Book “Edifying Discourse in Diverse Spirits” from 1847. Here you find a slightly edited version (first person instead of third person, as it is in the original. OK, I am getting way to nerdy…)
Episode 13 The other Face of Grief – ANGER
Maybe you’re familiar with this sudden rush of anger through your system, that can occur while you’re grieving. Some say, it’s one of the stages of grief. As we here don’t believe in linear processes, we also don’t believe in those stages. But: Anger certainly does have it’s place in the field of grief. We are angry at life, at those around us, because they still get to live their lifes and we don’t, we are angry at God, angry at the person who passed, angry at our families and angry at people just walking by. There’s nothing rational about this anger and anger per se doesn’t have a good reputation. We, Julie and Deborah, are exploring ways to express anger in a non-harming way and talk about possible creative outcomes of anger.
• Julie mentions the book “You can heal your life” by Louise Hay. Her key message: “If we are willing to do the mental work, almost anything can be healed.”
Episode 14 Kiran Trace about S**T hitting the Fan
What an honour to have Kiran talking to us! Kiran Trace is my teacher and mentor, she has helped me a lot in the last year and keeps on adding useful tools to navigate life. Especially life after SHIT hitting the Fan. Kiran is clear and pragmatic, warmhearted and radical at the same time. For me, she can bring in answers when you ask: How will I ever get back up? Working with her is deeply transforming – transforming towards a life of fulfilment and clarity.
On plus, we offer our listeners a really sweet deal to get to know Kiran’s work: 50% off her book and the course “Free your mind”, plus a drastic discount on the “Delicious Body” class!